I was looking through a friend’s wedding gallery a few months ago. She looked stunning, truly. But about halfway through the reception photos, I noticed something. In every single shot where she was sitting down, she had this tiny, pained crinkle between her eyebrows. By the time the cake cutting rolled around, she had changed into a literal bathrobe because her dress had scratched her skin so badly she couldn’t take it anymore.
When we talked about it later, she told me that she loved the dress on the hanger, but she hated it on her body by 8:00 PM. That conversation stayed with me. We spend months, sometimes years, dreaming about this one garment. We drop thousands of dollars on it. We pin a thousand photos of it. Yet, so many brides walk away from their big day with a list of “I wish I hadn’t done that” moments.
It is easy to get swept up in the magic of a bridal boutique and the way the light hits the sequins. It is much harder to remember that you actually have to live, breathe, and move in that thing for twelve hours. If you want to avoid the post-wedding blues when you look back at your photos, here are the most common mistakes I see brides making and how you can avoid being the girl in the bathrobe at her own reception.
1. Buying a Dress for a “Future” Version of Yourself
This is probably the number one mistake and the most heartbreaking one. We have all heard it. A bride finds a dress she loves, but it is two sizes too small. She buys it anyway, promising herself that she will hit the gym every day and eat nothing but kale until the wedding.
First of all, you are beautiful exactly as you are right now. Second of all, wedding planning is stressful enough without adding the pressure of a restrictive “shredding” goal. If the dress doesn’t fit you at your fitting, do not buy it. It is much easier for a tailor to take a dress in than it is to let it out. When you buy a dress that is too small, you spend your entire engagement in a state of anxiety. If you don’t hit that goal, you end up in a dress that pinches, pulls, and makes you feel self-conscious all day. Buy the dress that fits the woman you are today.
2. Forgetting the “Venue Reality Check”
I once saw a bride try to navigate a narrow, sandy beach path in a cathedral-length gown with about fifteen layers of heavy tulle. She looked like a beautiful ship lost at sea. By the time she got to the altar, the bottom six inches of her dress were covered in twigs, sand, and damp salt.
You have to be realistic about where you are getting married. If you are having a backyard wedding in July in the South, a heavy satin ball gown is going to turn into a personal sauna. If you are getting married in a tiny historical chapel with a narrow aisle, a massive skirt is going to get stuck on the pews. Before you say yes to the dress, visualize yourself in your venue. If the dress feels like it’s going to be a hurdle instead of a highlight, it might be the wrong style for the location.
3. Letting the “Entourage” Overrule Your Gut
We talked about this a little bit before, but it bears repeating because it is a massive source of regret. When you bring five different people to an appointment, you are dealing with five different versions of what a “bride” should look like.
Maybe your mom wants you in something modest and traditional, but you want something sexy and modern. Maybe your Maid of Honor is pushing a trend that you secretly hate. If you buy a dress to please someone else, you will feel like you’re wearing a costume. When you look back at your photos, you won’t see yourself. You will see your mother’s taste or your sister’s influence. It is okay to listen to feedback, but the final “yes” has to come from your heart, not from the loudest person in the room.
4. Choosing Beauty Over Mobility
You are going to be doing a lot of things on your wedding day that involve moving your body. You will be hugging people. You will be reaching for a glass of champagne. You will be sitting down for a multi-course meal.
A common regret is picking a dress that only looks good when you are standing perfectly still and tall. If you can’t raise your arms above your waist because of your sleeves, you can’t dance. If the bodice is so stiff that you can’t sit down comfortably, you won’t enjoy your dinner. Always do a “stress test” in the dressing room. Sit, spin, and reach. if the dress fights you, it’s going to win, and you’re going to be the loser in the form of a backache or a torn seam.
5. Ignoring the Undergarment Logistics
You would be surprised how many brides pick a dress with a sheer back or deep side cutouts and then realize three weeks before the wedding that they have no idea how to wear a bra with it.
Shapewear and bras can only do so much. If you have a larger bust and need support, a backless, strapless dress might be a recipe for a night of constant tugging and adjusting. Tugging at your bodice in every photo is a major regret. Talk to your consultant about what kind of support is built into the dress. If you have to spend an extra three hundred dollars on “specialty” undergarments just to make the dress work, factor that into your decision.
6. The “Too Many Trends” Trap
Trends are fun, but they are also fleeting. Right now, maybe it’s huge puffy sleeves or bright floral embroidery. In five years, those might look as dated as the blue eyeshadow and perms of the 80s.
This doesn’t mean you have to wear a boring, plain dress. But if you pick a gown that has five different trendy elements at once, it loses its timelessness. The most common regret is looking at photos ten years later and thinking, “Wow, that really screams 2024.” Try to find a balance. If you love a trendy sleeve, maybe keep the rest of the silhouette classic. If you love a bold fabric, keep the shape simple. Give your future self a break.
7. Waiting Too Late to Order
This is a logistical mistake that leads to a lot of emotional regret. Most wedding dresses take six to nine months to be made and shipped. Then you need another two months for alterations.
If you wait too long, you end up having to settle for a sample dress off the rack or paying massive “rush” fees. Settling for a dress because it’s the only one that will arrive in time is a huge bummer. You should feel like you chose your dress, not like the dress chose you because of a deadline. Start shopping at least a year out if you can. It takes the pressure off and lets you actually enjoy the process.
8. Not Trusting the Tailor
Alterations are where the magic happens. A “good” dress becomes a “perfect” dress because of the tailor. One big regret is trying to save money by skipping the professional bridal tailor and going to a local dry cleaner instead.
Bridal fabric is tricky. It has layers, boning, and delicate lace that requires a specialist. I have seen beautiful dresses ruined by a tailor who didn’t understand how to bustle a heavy train or how to shorten a hem without ruining the lace pattern at the bottom. Spend the money on a professional. It is the best insurance policy you can buy for your wedding day.
Final Thoughts
Your wedding dress is a big deal, but it isn’t the only deal. At the end of the day, it is the garment you wear while you start a new chapter of your life. The biggest mistake of all is letting the dress stress overshadow the joy of the occasion.
If you find yourself crying in a dressing room because you’re overwhelmed, take a break. Go get a taco. Come back another day. The right dress will make you feel at ease, not on edge. Choose the one that lets you be the happiest, most comfortable version of yourself, and I promise you won’t have any regrets when the “thank you” notes are all sent out.
